10 clues that your life has become a Southern Gothic paranormal romance

I found this on the Figment blog, and thought it was hilarious! I wanted to share it with you, so here it is! 

by Margaret Stohl and Kami Garcia (authors of Beautiful Creatures and Beautiful Darkness)

10. If a mysterious stranger in town suddenly appears in your dreams – or if your dream stranger suddenly appears in your town – you may have gone Southern Gothic.

9.  If you move into the abandoned plantation house on the outskirts of town – or wish there was an abandoned plantation house on the outskirts of town – or wish your town had outskirts or inskirts or any kind of skirts at all – you may have gone Southern Gothic.

8.  If you find yourself eyeing the rebellious, dark-eyed, new boy/girl, and suppressing the urge to climb to the top of the Summerville water tower with him/her, you may have gone Southern Gothic.

7. If you hang out in graveyards for fun – and in particular, talk to the people who live there – and more importantly, if they talk back – you may have gone Southern Gothic.

6. If you read tealeaves or chicken bones, stick bottles on the tree in your front yard, or line your windowsills with salt, you may have gone Southern Gothic.

5. If you named your wooden kitchen spoon – say, for example, the One-Eyed Menace – and use it for more powerful, elemental transformations than bringing the Chili-ghetti to a boil – you may have gone Southern Gothic.

4. If you use the term “Mortal” to describe some of your friends the way someone else might say “Canadian,”  “Yankee,” or “Blonde,” you may have gone Southern Gothic.

3. If magical, angst-ridden poetry begins appearing on your walls – whether or not you wrote it – you may have gone Southern Gothic. (Ditto music magically appearing on iPod, pages magically turning in a book, or rooms magically rearranging themselves.)

2. If you start pining away for this or that or the other and nobody understands, you may have gone Southern Gothic.

1. If you find yourself falling in love before first sight, it’s too late. You’re full on, full-blown Southern Gothic. So pour yourself some sweet tea, go out on the veranda and sit for a spell. You’ll be fine so long as you keep reading.

Good Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise.

[via Figment blog]